Sunday, July 24, 2005

What makes a Christian marriage unique? How can we, as Christians, be expected to weather lives that those without Jesus are not expected to survive or even respond well to? Is there any difference? Can I really make a difference? Can I really love someone well and permanently? Is that even possible? What really happens when the googly-eyes are gone? What then? Choice? Courage? Do they really exist?

9 comments:

Rick said...

take the word "divorce" out of your vocabulary. make sure "till death do we part" is meaningful. play and pray like this is the best thing going. and it will be.

ephesians 5 - God takes marriage seriously, best example of His love for the church and the church's love back to Him. not easy to live up to that kinda standard, but dorn worth it to try.

InfoLands said...

I am not as religious as Rick S. but agree on the principle.

It can work but you must (both) decide that it will work. That's how my grandparents did it. Strange how (almost) everyone seemed to manage in those days...

Myles said...

believing that marriage is not only rooted in what is best for me. i think of my dad not giving himself a raise for five years because the business was in tank, and how easy it would have been to chuck the whole thing.

Suz said...

I do believe that it's possible. I think that feeling like it's impossible, that you can't do it, is a good place to be. Then you're in the perfect place to depend on God...which is exactly what He wants us to do.

Rachel said...

Tough question. I'll give it a shot in a series of disjointed thoughts. (You asked!)

1. What makes a marriage work - Christian or otherwise - is selflessness. I should hope that the relationships of Christian couples would be characterized by the selfless type of love that Christ himself exemplified, and that they would therefore have an easier time making it work. I know this isn't always the case, but it should be. When you think about it, most sins that hurt marriages are rooted in selfishness and carelessness about the other partner.

2. At my brother's wedding, my dad's message was that two people should enter into marriage only when they can serve the Lord better as a couple than they could do apart. I had never considered this - I think few Christian couples do as a prerequisite for marriage - and I thought it was enlightening. (My dad enlightens me frequently, as you might have guessed.) What does serving the Lord together look like? I think masculine and feminine qualities both exist within Christianity, and these qualities can complement and strengthen each other to create a beautiful partnership when men & women work together as "one" - as in marriage.

3. Yes, love can last. People mistakenly think of love only as that stomach-fluttering (googly-eyed) emotion. But true love is defined in I Corinthians. It's a verb - an action - not just a feeling. Yes, you can love someone like that well and permanently, but only with Christ's help. Because it's freakin hard. Sometimes the googly eyes make it easier, but sometimes the harsh reality of each other's sinfulness makes it really hard. But it's possible. And wonderful.

4. Finally, Rick was right when he said that divorce needs to be taken out of the vocabulary. Without the ability to use divorce as a threat or a last resort, and with a refusal to accept a lifeless marraige, it can work.

natalie said...

marraige is for suckers, just like church.

Anonymous said...

spelling is for suckers.

matt

Suz said...

Rachel, thanks...I needed that encouragement!

Myles said...

where's part deux?