Wednesday, July 13, 2005

You Did What? Part Two

Allright, so this second installment might be a little anticlimactic--that's okay. That's exactly what I'm going for.

Quick review--I had just attempted to embarrass my brother by standing on my chair and introducing him to the whole restaurant, and in the attempt successfully embarrassed myself and the rest of my family. (Serge has since added me to his 'friends list.' Maybe I should try to embarrass my friends and family more often.) So after our delightful lunch at a Chili's that will have to wait a nice even month before my return, Amy and my sister and I met up with my friend Bambi. Yes, this is the Jack that we all know and love. She's been one of my best friends since college. We grew up in almost the same neighborhood in Flower Mound, Texas, and it took going to a small baptist university in Arkansas to meet.

We stopped at the Grapevine Mills Outlet Mall and Blockbuster and headed home to watch Hitch and sleep soundly. Everyone was changing into their pjs before we started the movie--I had washed my face, and Bambi was sitting on the stairs talking on her cell phone.

Now, it was really hot last weekend in Texas. Really hot. When Myles came up from Waco this week to visit, he kept talking about how nice it was--it was still in the 90's here in Kansas, and it is still humid, but Texas is a freakin sauna right now.

So I'm really hot after washing my face, right? Right. My face is nice and cool, but the rest of me is ready for a slip and slide across the atrium's marble tile floor. "Hey, Bambi, are you hot?" I walked toward her on the stairs and then I remembered that she was on the phone. She nodded and pointed toward the keypad next to the door.

"Oh, okay," and I walked toward the keypad. "Hmm... here's the plus sign, where's the minus sign? Maybe if I hit the plus sign, it'll show a minus sign on the screen..."


is it hot in here, or is it just me?

The whole house was echoing BEEP, YOU STUPID IDIOT, BEEP, FREAKIN BEEP!! Bambi came over to the pad and started hitting buttons.


Wait a second... that's not the thermostat... that's the alarm system! And that's not the change temperature button... that's the medical alert button! Ah, crap, did we hit the fire department button, too?

"Don't you know the code?" I asked Bambi.

"No, Suzanne, I don't know the code." She was trying really hard not to punch me. Oh yeah, did I mention that we were staying at the house that she was housesitting... and they wouldn't be home for a week... and that she couldn't get ahold of them because they were at a lake house and their cell phone was out of their coverage area? Yeah.

After looking frantically for a code written anywhere in the house and getting hung up on by the Brinks people twice and having two firetrucks and one medical alert truck full of at least fifteen emergency workers show up lights flashing and sirens blaring in that quiet neighborhood at 11 p.m. ... it was quite humiliating.

um, it wasn't this guy

Fifty-five minutes later, while the BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! WHURRRRP! WHURRRRP! is still blaring and our nerves are smoking cigarettes, two police chiefs are still inside the doorway waiting for Brinks to call them back with a code. "So how exactly did the alarm get set then?" the second in command asked Bambi. "Um, she thought it was the air conditioner."

They just kinda stared at me with that grimace that seems to size you up and say, "Yeah, I can see that. I think I knew it was her when I walked through the door. There's no way she's got a masters degree in anything."

I wanted to shout, "I'm not an idiot! Ok, maybe I am, but I didn't want you to find out!" Instead, I asked, "You guys seen Ladder 49?"

They didn't think it was funny.


Rachel said...

Is that a large Red-cross shaped icon I see on the button you pushed? And didn't it say "Brinks" really big on the Keypad? Not to rub it in or anything. =)

When we moved into our house it already had a Brinks alarm system installed. We chose not to keep it activated because, hello, we live in the 'burbs. Anyway, one morning the battery or something apparently got really low and the freaking system blared at full freaking blaring volume at 7 in the morning (even though it wasn't freaking activated). My husband was on the phone with the Brinks people and they told him to find the motherboard or whatever, which ended up being in the ceiling in our basement. He couldn't get to it because it was covered with some plate and the screws wouldn't come off, so he had to wrench the whole thing back manually and, oh my, long story short: we were both late for work and our marriage almost ended.

I'm surprised emergency personnel even pay attention to Brinks alarms anymore. There have got to be way more false alarms than legitimate ones.

Rick said...

heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Andronicus said...

I don't feel so bad about the time i set you and amy's alarm off now.....although you even gave me the code, and i still had the cops come...stupid andy......

Rachel said...

Hi Suzanne - thanks for letting me know when you're available. I assume that's 10-12 a.m. on Friday? (the military time helped). That might actually work better. We will probably be busy most of the day Saturday doing projects to get our house ready to sell. yuck. I can easily take an early lunch and come and meet you for coffee somewhere. If you get your friend's address or neighborhood, I'll figure out a good location to meet (I assume you have a car?) The good thing is, my office is in Madeira and it's really central in the city.

Looking forward to meeting you!

Anonymous said...

i just read this for the first time....for some reason i'm laughing cause at the time it happend i wanted to punch you too. but now it's funny....well people always say things like "we'll all look back and this and laugh" i really didnt think i would. maybe having you move to another country has made me miss you enough to miss the dumbass in you.

.....your bitch