Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Coffee Cup Concern Quelled

There seems to be some reader confusion surrounding the "Cup Incident" of Tuesday morning. Please, allow me to clarify:

This particular "cup" was a mug of the travelling kind. Yesterday morning, it was found it in a pool of its own dark, caffeinated blood in the westbound lane of 13th at 0800 hours. Authorities believe it to have been left on top of the vehicle of a thoughtless and hurried employee of some variety during their morning routine. The "cup" was last seen this morning against the curb, no more than 15 feet from the crime scene (this, judging from its placement and lavidity). Services will be held tomorrow morning in my car at 0815 hours as I drive home from teaching. The Mug family has asked that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to replace their loved one with the new-fangled synthetic QT 64-ozer. "If we're gonna do it again, we're gonna do it right!" was their mournful sentiment.

Thank you for your continued concern regarding this matter. Not only am I quite desperate for blogging material, but writing about this issue has been a catharsis for the rising bitterness against those that knowingly or unknowingly abuse their coffee containers.

Stop the violence. Hug your mug today.

3 comments:

savingface said...

who's raggin on who?
i said no harsh word against drunken ben, only that i could never love him.
beethoven also played piano while shitting his pants.

Anonymous said...

this is an intervention. things have gone too far. your life is OUT OF CONTROL.

as your friend i beg you, please, no more CSI.

matt

Suzanne said...

cade, i rag on no one but the careless owner of that defenseless coffee mug.